Marriage: An Equal Partnership

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families 

in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life 

and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible 

for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, 

fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

- The Family Proclamation to the World

To begin, we must all first realize that we are created with our own personalities and characteristics in the image of God. Men and women are meant to be different but also meant to work together. God did not intend men and women to be the same nor did he intend us to all have the same ambitions and goals in this life. He created us to be our own selves, different and unique but all in the likeness of him. Once we realize that when the Proclamation refers to fathers and mothers as "equal partners," this does not mean they are the same but that they work together to create a Christ centered and happy family and home. In the LDS church, we believe that equal does not mean identical. "Think of all we believe to be true about the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and women in God’s kingdom: equal in blessings; equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving counsel, giving consent, agency, value, poten- tial, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal things in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ." The Lord intended that husband and wife to "walk hand in hand," along side each other, helping each other through this life. This is what the proclamation is saying. 

"In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to 

dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. 

That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost 

owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions.

 That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by 

Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on 

the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. 

Nothing could be farther from the truth."

In marriage, God intended for husband and wife to be equal. The only true and best way to begin a marriage is by understanding first that both the man and woman are equal partners with each other. The couple must see first that they are to work together, not one better than the other, to make the marriage and family truly work. In the scriptures we see that when Adam and Eve were married, Adam declared them as "one flesh and one mind." In Genesis 3:16, it states "but he (the husband) will rule over you." This has been translated not to mean that the man is to rule over the wife, but to mean that the man is to rule WITH the wife. In a marriage where the husband and wife work together to make decisions for the family, work together to keep the house clean and orderly, and work together to raise the children in love and righteousness there are promised blessings for the family. It is much easier to live in a home where everyone is working together in all things. This kind of marriage also teaches the children that they are all equal, not one being better than the other. 

"Research has demonstrated that couples who have an 

equal partnership have happier relationships, better 

individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, 

and better functioning children."

To have a marriage with equal partnership is to allow for both partners to grow and strive to be better for themselves and one another. When the relationship is equal, both people feel like they are important and their opinions matter. In an equal partnership there are less arguments, less cases of depression and less feelings of worthlessness. As we strive to have equality in our marriage there are more promises for happiness and love for ourselves and our children. 

All information found in Successful Marriages and Families Chapter 4: Equal Partnerships Between Men and Women in Families. Written by Valerie M. Hudson and Richard B. Miller.